*Insert Something Witty Here* I'm too tired.

Really. I'm tired and ready to explode. If you know me, you know that there is an age where I can't stand my own children. This happens between the ages of 9 and 10. Well actually, it's the ENTIRE ages of 9 AND 10. There's just something about the attitude, know-it-allness, and.....I can't pin point what it is really. It just is!

Marsh is 10 right now. Surprisingly enough, he hasn't really bothered me too much. He hasn't changed much. He's still adorable and just as out of control (in a good way) as always so, nothing different with him.

I feel really bad about this one though. I was always worried that I wasn't going to be a good enough "girl" mom because I was sooo happy with having three boys already. Tuesday has always been a challenge for me. I worry that I don't relate to her very well.

She's 9 right now. She falls into that age category that I hate and she's living up to it's reputation. She's whinny, loud, mopey, immature.............. Sadly I can go on and on right now. She does have her great qualities and I love her dearly it's just, she's a girl and 9 years old right now.

I literally cried today because she wanted to cuddle up next to me and I wouldn't let her. It's not because I don't like her, I can't cuddle. I get irritated and claustrophobic. My body gets achy and I..............I just can't handle it. I tried to explain to her that it's my problem and that it has nothing to do with her. Obviously, her feelings were extremely hurt which just hurt me and made me bitter that she couldn't understand. I kept trying to explain it to her which just made her more sad and me more bitter. After she finally went away, I cried. I felt so bad but ready to explode at the same time.

We've had a week of rain here and now that Bulldogs is over for the season, we had nowhere we needed to be. That leaves all six of us stuffed into our tiny house. By the end of six or so days being trapped at home (besides school)everyone had had their share of Tuesday. She can get along well with everyone or she can annoy. It's all our fault really. The boys pick on her relentlessly. Sometimes she has fun with it and laughs and jokes back and other times, the world is out to get her and she shrieks her anger.

I don't know how to fix it. I've tried spending more time with her but, she gets under my skin (remember she's 9) and by the time I make it home with her I'm telling Timmy, I won't do it again.

It makes me feel bad because all my friends LOVE her. They think she's great. She's lovable, helpful, talkative, and hard working. I get grief from my friend Kim about it all the time. She's offered to take her home if I don't want her anymore as have a couple of my other friends. I just makes me feel worse about how I feel about her age right now.

Please pray for me. I need it and so does Tuesday. Thanks. I appreciate it more than you'll ever know.